Yey, a bday post

roll call of the people who made this perfectly ordinary birthday utterly cool. merci beaucoup! in order of touchpoint:

dalin.bananee.ateShe.lizzy.jan.pao.kuyaDarwin.ateBebs.kiona.jac.toots.
elma.pate.chada.raymond.mrBuki.paulo.mitzie.mommy.titaNene.
yayan.mamaChris.cha2.sanjay.barry.argel.jeric.jao.neil.nino.kaejay.
cuacky.reichel.attyBoobs.palCha.titaBebe.daddy.tatay.titoBeto.cholo.
nanay.paolo.jessiely.geviv.spsMads.yayie.marc.sarsi.cheann.marifeen.
dunah.ate.kiss.despus.hem.tjroque.upCircuit.eson.janice.panorms.
jhaydee.al.marnz.jp.jepoy.ian.rinen.winston.

it was the busiest day for my phone. hellomoto gone motoloko.

highlight of the day:

my dad totally forgot abt my bday. woot! we were the only people in the house.

some thoughts:
1. the people who remember to greet you on your bday,are most probably the ones who either hold you dearest or.. just keeps a damn good calendar.
2. those who make an effort to be the first, or just-in-time to be the last are very special indeed. you to them, or them to you, hopefully both.
3. sms is great. phone call is exceptional. email and offline msg is cool. in person...priceless.
4. amongst the many, there's this one person's touchbase (ok fine, maybe two or three) whom the celebrant will relentless be waiting for... the whole day if it takes. sometimes a make or break of the occasion.
5. for those who forgot... you rock!

Day One

Let's talk realities.

i woke up with an unusual lightness, exceptional sunny disposition. yes, today is Day ONE. the first day after the...

the truth is... i miss you. more than ever.

was totally fine, until 4pm when you texted you were leaving the office. i was expecting to see you today. casual hi hello. claim my martian child dvd and palawan crinkles, then lend you 'my blueberry nights' dvd. you left. our texting was exceptionally ordinary. i was familiar but totally new to it. bout of extreme sadness and depression took over. i was out of my mind. watched "Horton hears a who" with mama chris instead. escapist. yeah, its easy to escape reality with motion picture. it worked 2 hours while the movie lasted. back in the office, reality sets in again. we're thru. it's over. done for. nada. zip. zilch. and i miss you. more than ever.

i can't afford to be sad. i can't afford to have personal issues. i am not here to be taken care of. i am here to care for people.

waiting for the bus*

I've been standing here
waiting for the bus
On a saturday
laundry on my back
Ultraviolet rays
like i'm posing for a shot
In a magazine
what the hell does it mean?


I'm a travelling man straight from the can
I'm a thousand miles away from my number one fan
My folks are getting tight won't let me out at night
You can't avoid the complications
When there's no reason at all

When the lightning stikes we fly
I'll drink my beer i'll wipe my tears
Southbound in the sky

Another crime another reason gets you everyday
The only time that you can talk
You ain't nothing to say
Well i'm caught up in a stupid game
That i can't play
It's just a waste of time but i'm in anyway

I've been sitting here watching the signs
Too many cars at night belching in the moonlight
We're doing ninety as the sky turns to grey
The people look like bees buzzing by the highway

The wheels are rolling like a rolling stone
Alone i choose the road less traveled on

Now i'm lying here waiting for the day
On the second deck
Dreaming of a girl from a fairytale
Chain around my neck
A ride is all it takes but pains get in the way

[eraserheads - cutterpillow - 1995]
[wiki] [tabs] [lyrics] [mailing lists]

*zz.. wer r u ?

(darn) blue boys..

my sister has a new car. being a novice scaredy cat driver she is, i usually drive for her coming from the city going to our hometown and back. today was supposed to be just one usual driving day.. or so we thought.

we left the house around 5:30, traffic was good, and so was the weather. making sure i get to my campus home before 7pm to make it to Sunday mass, i was on overdrive. the second worse thing to rush hour traffic is surviving the road with out scratch from roadhog buses, speeding cabs and jeepneys..

coming from the north (edsa) i made a quick right u-turn to quezon ave. lording fairview jeepney (long as a 10 passenger type) came speeding from my right, cutting from my (at-the-moment blind side) left was yet another one. i missed the private vehicle left turn route. i was forced to take the puv/puj route instead. then suddenly out from the darkest bangketa corners of the streets came 2 mmda blue boys.. (buwaya as they call 'em) they hailed me to stop. syet! i smell trouble.

lowering the driver side windows, the two approached, flashed a pernicious grin and asked for my license.

Sir, what's my violation?
Disregarding traffic signs 'ho.

(thinking to myself that in the hustling darkness of that street corner how in the world would anyone have good visibility and even the time to read/notice faded traffic signs?!) and so, i explained my plight, about the cutting jeepneys..etc.. to no avail.. they weren't even listening.

naku.. pag-na-ticket-an kita.. hassle sa Makati pa ikle-claim ang lisensya mo.. so pano na yan? ti-ticket-an ba kita?

(thinking to myself..do i have a choice? i was about to say, cge ticket-an nyo na po, nagmamadali kami eh..)

blue boy #1 signalled to his partner, hingan mo na ng di na sila maabala pa.

in that moment of weakness and confusion, i was solid to stand up for my principles, until my sister handed me the bail money. i bailed out. guilty. guilt drowned me in silence as i pulled over to resume my driving after the confrontation.

my sister, in the attempt to break ice,knowing i was not cool with the bailing out, said it was ok.. but on the irony of things, continued on to tell me of her experience with those blue boys and my dad on the driver seat. my dad was hailed to stop, but being on the rush to an appointment & the feeling of traffic innocence, he rushed past them, not knowing that a support group was just a few blocks and radio-ready away. he was forced to stop and receive penalty. offered for a bail vs ticket hassle. my dad chose the latter.

why did you tell me just now?!.. (but i figured.. did i need to be reminded?..)

di ako makapaniwala na naging parte ako sa kinukutya kong bulok na systema. na sa sandaling iyon ay wala akong ipinagka-iba sa mga bulok na taong walang prinsipyong ipinaglalaban. umuwi akong napahiya sa sarili. sa aking ate. at sa mga nagtatawanang mga buwaya. ta**ina! di na ito mauulet..

walking around makati..

...depresses me.

this season of job hunting.. i found myself part of the multitude of hopefools trying to getby job interviews and corporate aptitude examinations.. jst this week, i took an exam to qualify for a company i dont even have interest to work at. going circles around ayala loop til i reached the office in legaspi cross v.a.rufino, i was lucky to get there right on the dot in sked. i'm sorry sir Oydie. jst to have d feel of wat it is to apply, that would most probably be my last time there.

i have always been a BiGfan of skyscrapers. back then when my kuya was starting out for work in the city. i have always tagged along. i enjoyed looking up the structures hundred times taller than i was. side by side, glass windows playing elegantly with sunlight as the sun sets at noon. the malls as playground. i have always admired those professionals i see in coffee shops with newspapers and laptops. people in polished leather shoes, coat and tie. the midnight drive. a few years from then, i pictured myself to be jst like one.

walking around the same streets today, i realized i still have the same affinity for the city. but this time, with a tinge of the unknown.. i feel like an ant afloat an aquarium. this is not where i belong. atleast,not yet. walking around, everyone is jst a face. a face i dont recognize. a face i most probably won't ever see again. a walkway i haven't crossed, and a street name i most probably won't remember. it depresses me to realize, that at this age and time, im still not part of the BiG city.

if college is the gatepass to the workforce, i guess i have overworked it. i'v spent soo much time in school. i'm still here, etching my name on stone in a prison / home i'v built. a niche where i know every street, every structure. where in every corner i go, there is always a familiar face who acknowledges me. where guards and janitors in buildings call me by my first name. where dorm managers, college admin staffs know my celfone number. where i don't even have to wear an ID to get inside the office of the president. this is my anthill. yes.. but i figured, i'm way too old for this now. when will i ever move on to the 'end' i dream of day in day out..

walking my way to the mrt, i was momentarily put in halt when a speeding cabbie pulled over right infront of me. a familiar figure stepped out. she was a batchmate in college. a former basketball varsity tomboy now turned into this.. beautiful yuppie. i tucked my chin, redeemed my glance and continued to walk. yes, i know.. how unfriendly of me not to say hi.. i jst didn't want to go over another session of "so,do you work here?" ... "no, stil in school. graduating this year. jst passing by." ...

i'm depressed because i'm still in school.
i'm depressed because i don't belong.

i'm depressed because..

i am.

Tennis Aficionados!

You're invited to be part of TENNIS UP.

We're starting up an organization &are currently on the look out for fellow tennis enthusiasts who are as dynamic and willing to show, share, & enjoy their talent &passion for the sport!

Application is open to all bonafide UP students. Please bring a photocopy of your college certified Form-5. Regular Org meetings are set every Wednesday, 4:30pm at the UP CHK Tennis Court (beside the UP Coop).

Interested?... Send Email Here or Join the Y! Groups

*** love..15..30..40.. set!

Mt. Galugod Baboy

Open Climb '06... Conquered!

(blog entry to follow..;)